![]() (A poor jest, but I will not scratch it out. ![]() I did not take bribes, you see, so I was bound to find a recompense in that, at least. I was rude and took pleasure in being so. I used to be in the government service, but am no longer. I have been going on like that for a long time-twenty years. But still, if I don’t consult a doctor it is from spite. Of course, I can’t explain who it is precisely that I am mortifying in this case by my spite: I am perfectly well aware that I cannot ‘pay out’ the doctors by not consulting them I know better than anyone that by all this I am only injuring myself and no one else. Alienated from society and paralysed by a sense of his own insigni cance, the anonymous narrator of Dostoyevskys groundbreaking Notes from Underground tells. No, I refuse to consult a doctor from spite. ![]() Besides, I am extremely superstitious, sufficiently so to respect medicine, anyway (I am well-educated enough not to be superstitious, but I am superstitious). I don’t consult a doctor for it, and never have, though I have a respect for medicine and doctors. ![]() However, I know nothing at all about my disease, and do not know for certain what ails me. ![]()
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